I'm Just That Complicated

Well, it's probably time to update family and friends on the whole heart issue... so here's the latest story (fair warning: it's a long story! Bail out now while you still can!). :)
Alright, well August 5th, I went in to the hospital for the procedure (TEE) for the dr to stick a tube down my throat and look at my heart to see for sure what we were dealing with (which was an interesting experience of which I have no memory of the actual procedure, but Jim swears I was quite a sight. Apparently they had to drug me quite a bit because I wasn't responding to the usual small doses... so I ended up with a large dose that had me pretty zombified). :) Anyway, as it turns out, the doctor said I did in fact have a hole (Atrial Septal Defect) as opposed to just the flaps not being fused (Patent Foramen Ovale) (reminder: the hole (ASD) is the one that generally needs to be fixed (unless it's really small), but the PFO can just be left alone) and that my hole is a rather large one.
So, okay. I have a hole in my heart, it's rather large so it can't be left alone, so we'll just do that quick outpatient procedure through the groin artery, and then I'll be up and running again in a few days, right?
Well remember... I'm just. that. complicated.
In addition to having a large hole that needs to be fixed vs. just an unfused flap that can be left alone, the doctor ALSO said that this large hole is in a complicated location. Ha. Go figure. Please explain... what does 'a complicated location' mean? Well, it means that where the hole lies, there is not a very good chance that I can just have the simple procedure done to fix it. There is a chance I'll still need open heart surgery. Again- go figure.
But the good doctor (who I really do like... Dr. Bhalla) took a lot of pictures during the TEE procedure and then proceeded to start consulting with other heart doctors. Doctors all over the country. World renowned doctors even. (I'm starting to feel important... and nervous!) :) But apparently none of them have any advice for him on how to go about the problem (or more accurately, no advice on how to avoid the unavoidable).
So the next step was a visit to a specialist... Dr. Loyalka (whom I also really like... I've been blessed with  really great doctors throughout this whole process!). Dr. Loyalka is one of the nations top leaders in performing the groin artery procedure, and Dr. Bhalla wanted me to meet with him to discuss my options. Well, Dr. Loyalka took a look at the pictures on the CD I brought him (from the TEE) and said there is absolutely no way he would recommend I have that simple procedure done. He explained in greater detail the problem with the location of the hole. He said that where the hole lies there is very little heart tissue between the heart wall and the aorta that lies across the front of the heart (aorta= very important artery in the body). And the device they use to plug the hole by going up through the groin is made out of a metal material (some sort of stretchy NASA type metal) that has the possibility of eroding through the heart tissue. In a normal case, that wouldn't be much of a problem... they can just go back in and fix it I guess. But in my case, where the hole lies right up against the aorta, if the device were to erode my heart tissue, it would erode into the aorta. I asked him what would happen if that were to occur, and he said I would die. (*lovely*) He actually told me he just had someone die a few weeks ago (a 68-yr old woman who had the procedure done 2 years before) because of this exact problem and she had even more heart tissue than I do. So he was fairly adamant that he would not do the surgery if that's still what I wanted (I would have to find someone else who'd be willing to do it).
Well, I'm not a big gambler when it comes to my life... so he gave me my other option: open heart surgery. (There actually is a third option of a plastic plug that won't erode the heart tissue, but the hole has to be under a certain size for that... and of course, my 'rather large hole' doesn't meet those qualifications).
So... the big news... (drum roll)... I'll be having open heart surgery!
Holy poop in a bucket. Wow. I'm still letting that sink in.
It's not a terribly big deal, other than that recovery is  6-8 weeks of no picking up my kiddos (ha! have you met my kids?!) and then an additional however long to get back up to par (I think 3-4 months is typical). In addition to which, I will have a lovely long scar down my chest for the rest of my life. That's probably the hardest part to think about... the permanent after effects. Permanent. For as long as I live. No undoing.
Keeping that in mind, I'm not eager to jump into this. However, he also recommended that I have the surgery done before we have any other children (due to the increased possibility of heart attack or stroke due to the hole during pregnancy... and particularly during delivery). That bumps up the time table for the surgery considerably. We're now looking at doing it before the end of this year (since I've already met my insurance deductible for the year)... which means we could be doing this as soon as next month. Wow. Again. Go figure.
So once we get the timing figured out, Dr. Loyalka will give me the names of some of the top heart surgeons to do the procedure, we'll give them a call, set up the surgery, and away we go!
But all the drama aside, I have felt extremely blessed in all of this. From the 'spiritual nudging' to get private insurance just months before this all started, to the series of doctors that have been placed in my way... this could have been a lot more devastating than it is. As it is, it's only a large inconvenience. The doctors have played on the cautious side from the start in order to find this problem... I'm grateful to the ER doctor who didn't just look at my EKG and say 'you've got PVC's... no big deal. Have a happy life' but instead referred me to a cardiologist just to be safe. I'm grateful to Dr. Bhalla who initially saw the same non-threatening, albeit slightly irregular PVCs, but decided to do an ultrasound just to be safe, which led to the question of a hole, which led to the TEE procedure, which led to the discovery of the hole. On top of all this, Houston happens to have one of the top medical centers in the nation (and the world for that matter) where we have access to some of the most skilled surgeons in the nation/world, and from one event to the other, I just can't help but feel that the Lord has been watching out for me and perhaps even preserving my life. So despite the complications and inconveniences, I hope you won't ever hear me complain. I am doing my best to recognize this for the blessing that it is and to just be grateful.
Loves and Healthy wishes to you all!!!!